Listen…when I declared I was stepping into my “soft-girl era,” I pictured silky pajamas, candles burning, affirmations in the mirror, and eating fruit out of fancy bowls while my face caught the golden hour light. What I didn’t picture? That the advocacy space I love could drain me just as much as cancer itself.

For a minute, I thought my soft-girl era had been canceled, like a TV show with too much Black joy for the networks to handle. Between the advocacy commitments, scans, and the occasional panic spiral at 2 a.m., it felt like “soft” was the last thing I could be. But somewhere between planning Breast Cancer BaddieCon and my third round of therapy (shoutout to my therapist, the real MVP), I realized…softness isn’t the absence of hard things. It’s how you care for yourself through the hard things.

Softness as Resistance

Being a Woman of Color in America means you already know how to fight; the world teaches us that early. But lately, with laws shifting, healthcare under attack, and politics treating our bodies like a debate topic instead of our own, that fight feels heavier.

It’s wild navigating Survivorship while watching the political climate try to dictate what we can and can’t do with our own health. It’s exhausting to have to advocate for myself in my doctor’s office and in society. But here’s the truth: choosing softness in times like these? That’s a radical act. It’s reclaiming our joy when the world tries to take it. It’s resting without guilt. It’s wearing the pink bonnet and the matching robe because we deserve luxury, even on hard days.

My Soft-Girl Survival Kit

• Boundaries, baby. My “No” game is strong. No to draining people, no to over-explaining, no to anything that makes my spirit feel heavy.
• Joy appointments. I schedule joy like I schedule appointments. Brunch with my girls, binge-watching ‘Insecure,’ reading a good book, and catching flights, all mandatory.
• Loving my changing body. Scar cream and love notes to my reflection. Some days I still cry, but I never stop showing up for her.
• News breaks. I stay informed, but I won’t let the 24/7 news cycle rob me of my peace. I’ll fight smarter if I’m not burnt out.

The Bigger Picture

Being in my soft-girl era doesn’t mean I’ve stopped being a fighter. It means I’ve learned the power of softness as a survival tool. I’m still showing up at advocacy meetings. Still using my voice for policies that protect women of color in healthcare. Still reminding this country that we exist, we matter, and we’re not going anywhere.

And if I can do all that with a silk wrap on and a candle burning? Even better.

Because here’s what I know for sure: my softness isn’t weakness. My softness is sacred. And even in this storm, political or personal, I’m allowed to thrive, to glow, and to live the life I dreamed of.

So yeah…the soft-girl era is here to stay. Cancer and advocacy can pull up a chair if it wants.

As my best friend says, “One monkey don’t stop no show!”.