If I can define survivorship as one word, it would be…

Realignment: Noun

When I think back on the last ten years that I’ve spent on this journey as a breast cancer survivor, one word continues to come to mind. That word is REALIGNMENT!!

This word has been the epitome of my existence since October 20, 2011, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 34. At the point of diagnosis, although I didn’t recognize it then, in hindsight, everything that I once found familiar was about to change.

Over these ten years, I have had to realign myself with so many things. I had to first realign my FAITH! Not saying that because I had faith, everything was going to work out. But, BECAUSE I had faith, I had to align my thoughts, words, and behaviors with this FAITH, NO MATTER WHAT my circumstances LOOKED or FELT like. I’m sure you can imagine how hard this was to accomplish and maintain during my survivorship. However, the peace and the power that came along with it provided the strength I needed for this journey.

The next phase of this process was the REALIGNMENT of my thoughts. I knew this battle was not for the “faint of heart”; and if I could just change my thought process, I could change the way this experience was going to affect myself and my family.

The life I had become accustomed to was over. I wasn’t living a grandiose lifestyle, but I knew I needed to throw all expectations out the door to reduce any further disappointment.

On those days when I couldn’t walk due to side effects from the chemotherapy treatments or perform any of my usual activities; I had to again, REALIGN not only my thoughts but my expectations of what life would look like after cancer.

The ultimate phase of this process is to live, breathe, and walk-in my realignment 24 hours a day for 365 days each year. Some days are easier than others, especially as an advocate. Throughout my survivorship, I have been busy with cancer advocacy, connecting with men and other women affected by cancer. While it has been a decade full of gratitude and fulfillment, I have also faced a lot of grief because of losing so many friends and peers to cancer.

This is where the biggest battle lies if I’m being completely transparent. This practice of realignment doesn’t protect me from experiencing Survivor’s Guilt or fear of reoccurrence. These two feelings have kept me awake some nights. But, again, it forces me to live in a state of realignment. It is not to diminish the pain or the tragic loss of so many lives, but is definitely a way of coping.

This is why I have such a passion for advocacy and attempt to connect with people and families affected by cancer to provide support for those in need. I feel that as a survivor, I’m mandated to do all that I can to reduce the impact of this disease. Starting with myself, if I realign my thoughts about the things that I cannot control, it will reduce the negative impact this disease can have on myself and those who love me. As a result, I can do more to help others who have had to face this beast.

So again, not that realignment is a magic potion for such a critical disease, but it has helped me to shift my focus, my energy, my prayers, my love, and my efforts in a way that is conducive to a peaceful and productive life moving forward.